Here is Grumpy Gus, the Live Action Version. Though, on closer inspection, his wispy beard lacked the verisimilitude one would hope for in a Joseon sentry's whiskers. The spear looked legit enough to us to not make fun of the Witness Protection Plan disguise.
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So, what do we know about our serious friend?
1) He is a Josean High Guard- basically the Korean version of the English Beefeater- the Kimchieater.
2) The source of his grumpiness is follicular in nature. At the risk of sounding pubescent, perhaps there is a requirement among the High Guard that braiding is mandatory not just for one’s goatee, but also for one’s sages. This idea is a little hair-brained, but I think he can solve his problem (and kill two stones and one bird) by taking a page out of the Book of Hijra.
3) Maybe he and his three buddies decided to play a little Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? He got stuck with the short end of the stick, which, when playing TMNT is the getting the long stick. Nobody wants to be Donatello- he’s the George Harrison of TMNT.
4) Maybe he is a member of the Korean version of the shriners? Dispensing with the traditional shriner headwear, the fez (would that make him a fez dispenser?), our protagonist finds more capital coverage with the bell.
Sidebar: In Korean lore, it is said that the most mega-encephalic of the Josean High Guard, Liberty Electro, roamed as far as Philadelphia. He traded his hat to Ben Franklin for a kite. The problem was that one night, while flying his kite in a storm, the poor guard got electrocuted, fell down, cracked his hat, and died. Ben kept the hat and named both the hat and his new kite-incident-inspired invention after his fallen friend.
Back to Grumpy Gus… The bell hats must cost one a lot of won (unless they are won). So, maybe he is grumpy because he spent all his money on his hat and couldn’t afford the cool shriner mini-car? Since he isn’t able to drive a mini-car when it comes to parade time, he has to pretend to be a wayward Whirling Dervish (which, as we all know, only partly resembles its more stationary counterpart, the Derv). What nerve.
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